I feel like I’ve spent most of 2018 with fear in my mouth. Negativity invading my language, anxiety intruding on my thoughts, and fear interrupting my affirmations.
I’m a writer, yes, published a few books, yes, studied a writing degree, yes, consulted with various creatives on content creation and personal branding, yes, good at this stuff, ABSOLUTELY, so why am I holding back?
Creativity used to pour out of me.
I used to feel so inspired, I’d stay up until dawn, writing books, stories and poetry. When I was in touch with myself and my creativity, my writing became my way of letting it all out.
The events of 2018 have caused me to retreat. It’s been a great year for professional achievements and meeting personal milestones, but it’s also been a challenging one for me.
This year felt like something was missing, but didn’t realise until now that it was me. I lost my passion, my values, my energy, and the core of who I am.
How did I lose myself?
Because, once again, I’d been busy being all things to all people. So heavily invested in dreams that were not my own, that I lost sight of my own and me with it.
I believe that knowing how to connect with yourself, and feel connected, is the foundation of any masterpiece you create.
How can you express your thoughts and ideas, if you don’t know what they are?
Out with the old, in with the new.
2018 broke the old me, and created room for the new, real me to evolve.
I had to shake away bad habits, old perspectives and stale friendships, so that I can move into the new year, and the new me, with a brighter and lighter outlook.
My experience of intense emotions has helped me to work through my demons, which has led me to do the healing I’ve needed since I was six years old.
I had to step back and strip back everything that was no longer resonating with my spirit, and pull away from any dreams that were no longer my own.
Most of all, I was forced to deal with unexpected change. Planning ahead usually helps with my anxiety, so can you imagine the turmoil I’ve felt while dealing with out-of-the-blue stuff.
2018 has been many things to me.
How was it for you?